A vile and odious piece of slime.

I had a dream the other night. I was a multi-millionaire and I was sat opposite Dave Whelan, offering to pump one million pounds into Wigan Athletic. He said “That would be fantastic” and then I delivered The Killer Blow:

“You must sack Maurice Lindsay” I said, “and you must state in the papers it was for gross incompetence”.

It was at this point I woke up and said “Yeah!”, but it got me thinking. I mean, what the fuck am I doing dreaming about fat Maurice for starters? Has his appointment affected me on such a deep and profound level? Or do I have a secret yearning for effeminate, fat bags of fucking excrement?

Upon learning of his appointment, all the old wounds opened up like maggot infested crevices of pus. And had he stepped into the road in front of my speeding vehicle, I wouldn’t have rushed to step on the brakes.

I for one, will never forget the anti-Latics sentiments voiced by this ‘man’, and I will never forget him and Wigan Rugby League refusing to help in our hour of need, even denying us the use of their ground for the League Cup tie against Liverpool in 1989. Now he is a long time fan and, to quote him, is “grown up enough to put these things behind”. Funny how you grow up when there’s something in it for you eh?

It’s a shame that the L.I.S.A. (Latics Independent Supporters Association) demonstration didn’t really take off, but it’s hardly surprising. Personally, I welcome all new fans to the JJB. Wigan Athletic are a completely new machine than the one from ten years ago (save for Brenda Spencer et al, but as we all know, however brand new and spangly the Porsche might get, there’s still a lingering, useless piece of kit that the men in charge seem to want to keep), and the new influx of fans is fantastic (remember when you never saw kids in Latics shirts? They’re everywhere these days). But the upshot is that there are only a few thousand who remember Lindsay’s comments through the years, and however hard the old timers might bang on about how much of a shitbag this man is, it really doesn’t affect the newer fan in the same way.

And anyway, can you imagine the media furore if the whole stadium had gone up in a massive chorus of “LINDSAY OUT!”? The trashy tabloids for the brain dead would have made a mockery of us. They don’t know the history, but they would make sure the rest of the country thought we were idiots for chanting for someone’s head when we’re in the top half of the Premiership.

So basically, we’re stuck with this vile and odious piece of slime on the board, but we can take solace in one thing. We’ve got to such wondrous heights without his input. If we start to plummet, there’s a target for our ire. Our old “friend” Alex Murphy and the Warriors fans are calling for his head, and though you might view the eggs as brain deficient, this man’s incompetence has finally sunk through their collective pie-soaked consciousness. If they want him out, why should we even want him in?

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Bollywood Movie

After months of filming and lots of effort and hard sweat, my latest Bollywood offering can be found at this link entitled "A Latics Love Affair":

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1429495