Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Human Condition


Albert Einstein once said: “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former”.

I had decided to drive to West Ham due to problems with rail and tube connections (i.e. there weren’t any after 10.18 PM and Upton Park, West Ham and Plaistow tube stations are notoriously difficult to get into after a Hammers match).

I picked up my sister at noon and proceeded to sit stationary on the M6 for the best part of the day. At first I was worried and concerned that there had been some kind of accident (I was aware of one further North on the southbound carriageway), but three hours later, as we approached Stoke at eight miles per hour I began to glance at other motorists and realisation dawned.

Car after car contained bag after bag of shopping. Fat, ugly, greedy simpletons, engorged with food and presents after Christmas, had gone on January sales rampages. Not content with filling their feeble and pathetic lives with materialistic trinkets and stretching their already disgustingly foul and bloated (figuratively speaking) bodies with the heady stench of over-indulgence, they had gone back for more, snarling up the roads for the rest of us.

I was going to experience something tangible for God’s sake!! To wallow in life for the joy of living, and giving my love to Wigan Athletic, expecting nothing in return. Those who feel the need to buy, to fill up a void inside, surely do not appreciate the wonderful state known as existence. And they should not be allowed to fuck up my day!

GET OFF THE ROADS!!!!!

We arrived in East Ham just before 7PM and parked up, a journey time of 7 hours. Thank you shopping knobheads.

The Latics faithful were unusually subdued, the long journey during the festive period and a 7.45 kick off hardly being condusive to a hearty sing-song. Anyway the blues did us proud with Roberts and Camara drilling home a goal each in the closing stages of the first half to screw up that arrogant git Pardew’s day. The defence was solid, restricting the Hammers to a few off-target efforts, meaning Pollitt didn’t even get his gloves dirty.

The journey back home was much swifter, and I was tucked up in bed by 3AM, so I was fresh to go and brave the January sales at Gemini in Warrington to buy a computer desk. No, the desk wasn’t reduced, it was full price, I’m just a fucking masochist.

No comments: